As much as I’d love to have a boyfriend more than anything, I don’t think that’s what I should be focusing on right now.
There’s too much going on with me and I couldn’t see myself dating anyone because of how fucked up things are. And if I do end up dating someone, they have to be able to handle this. They have to be able to deal with these emotions and ups and downs, and to be honest that’s not something that I expect from anyone at the moment.
This is who I am, and it does suck sometimes. But I know that I need to go with the flow. After all, they do say that love comes at the most unexpected times.
Too much of my self-worth is based off of others and that needs to stop. Fantasizing about what it’s like to be loved by someone will not make me a better person in the slightest, and I’m beginning to realize that.