Stop thinking so negatively and you won’t hate yourself all the time. Be optimistic. It takes time for things to change, but holding yourself to unrealistic expectations will not better you in the slightest. Utilize what you have been given and make something out of yourself. You are the person you choose to be. Choose to be happy and choose things that will make you feel better.
You are the solution to your problems. You are not hopeless, and you will get what you deserve. Just try a little harder.